Let it Rain.

There is a very simple Jesus Culture song that says "Let it Rain. Let it Rain. Open the Floodgates of heaven, Let it Rain," and goes on to mention feeling the rains of Father's love poured from heaven. I've always found the song incredibly beautiful but almost TOO simple. That is, until I started preparing for my earthly father's birthday.

There I am, writing stories for my dad's fake newspaper, which we Cleary kids plan on reading him for his birthday. I'm listening to "I'll Never let Go of Your Hand" by Don Francisco. It's then that I start leaking from my face super hard core because I realize all that my father (my earthly one) has done for me and for others over the years. The man has taken care of his handicapped brother basically all his life and has a handicapped son that he now cares for as well. He's rescued women from falling objects, saved folks from drowning (including yours truly), and even more than that, on countless occasions, has done the little things that make his family feel loved, like feeding us whilst he himself went hungry. 

My dad is pretty boss, and sitting there typing out all he'd done for me, I started realizing that I, for years, have not understood the gravity--the depth--of his love. I've thanked him numerous times, but I had not, until the other day, received all of the love that he's poured out on me. Me not receiving the complete love he has continued to give all of these years doesn't change the fact that he gave it. It simply makes the gift more sweet because I finally tasted all of the love he'd given, and it was so good. I finally ate the sweets that my daddy had been placing into my pockets all these years! For 25 years, I'd let that candy sit there in my pockets, and let me tell you, that is a long time to wait for sweets!

My daddy had simply continued to bless me, putting little candies in my pocket whether I noticed or not. But I was too busy complaining, being distracted, and looking at the guilt and shame covering me to notice all of the sweet love that had been given me. 

When I was able to dry my eyes enough to sweep the hair out of my face, I realized that the reason I couldn't receive all of the love from my earthly father until that moment was because I hadn't received the outpouring of love from my heavenly father until more recently either. You see, up until my wedding and subsequent nuptial bliss, I had been keeping parts of myself from God, ugly parts that I didn't want Him to have to deal with. I told myself I was protecting Him from having to deal with such grime when, in reality, all I was doing was barring myself from feeling the full weight of his love and grace. By not showing Him my worst, I remained unable to received His best. How could I really understand how much His love had to overcome (and therefore how great it was!) when I wasn't being honest about what needed be overcome in the first place?

You can't understand the weight of a rushing waterfall until you see how strong the dam that it broke through was. Neither can you grasp God the Father's fullness of love until you come face to face with the strength of sin it had to dismantle.

So now, as I think about the love these wonderful earthly vessels have given me, even if that love is impure, I rejoice. I am able to soak in the rain that has been resting on my skin all this time. I am able to let this love-build-up nourish me.

And now, even more importantly, when God opens the floodgates of heaven and pours love and blessings out on me, I actually feel the flood of his love rather than a trickle. I am no longer placing roofs of guilt, shame, pain, or failure over my head; subsequently, blocking God's outpouring. 

I stand. Arms open. Head to the sky.

And the flood rain of God's love? It is sweet to the taste.