Well reader, it’s been a long time since I posted anything on this blog. That is for two reasons. I will state the more earthly one first. We have been perhaps more busy than we ever have. Isaiah and I are both now working full-time jobs and are both rather tired at the end of the day. He has taken on a bread route, and I am still teaching at Lexington Senior High School.
Secondarily, I hadn’t had enough time away from certain items to see the redemptive outline that God is carving in the midst of the circumstances of our lives. It is not that I am opposed to discussing hardship and suffering and earthly circumstances. It is simply that I have a high desire to discuss everything in the light of God’s redemption and plan. I always wish to bring Him ultimate glory. I insist on seeing the glory in circumstances before I attempt to write about things that, let’s be honest, as a mere fallen human, I am already inclined to write falsely.
God is so much greater that we first assume in all matters, and I want to at least see peeps of his greatness and glory through the cracks in circumstances before I describe a situation. Honesty, without mentioning or focusing on the Glory of Christ, is dishonesty, for He is present in all times and in all circumstances. The truth even now is that I can only write of the glory and redemption I have seen through the cracks of this world whilst the real truth is that ALL is God’s glory—That Glory has overcome and overwhelmed; it is not truly seen through mere glimpses; it consumes all.
But alas, I am fallen and human and limited in this world. I pray daily to see greater and more infinite glory from the Spirit, and He listens to me. May my blogs become so inspired over time that they reek with the glory of God as much as possible in this blinded world. For now, I can only communicate what I see through these dim eyes; but soon, my eyes will be open to real glory. In time, I will see the face of God Himself. Oh, how I long for that day, reader. Oh, how I long for the day when the full truth of God’s greatness and glory and redemption are made known to me….but even then, I will never fully grasp it. He is far to great for us to grasp, which is why we worship Him.
So, knowing that I cannot possibly convey the greatness of our God and yet being at a better place to do so than I was, I write.
Isaiah and I have been working a lot and have been using most to pay off loans and “to send.” The truth is, we are all called “to go” and “to send” people into God’s fields, which are ripe for harvest. We are at a place at present where we have the honor and privilege to send workers into God’s fields and to contribute to the local church as well. Though we long to be overseas ourselves, we are fully assured that right now we have a different and yet still equally glorious role; to send and sustain workers already there whilst we work here in the field of Davidson County.
We are both also excited to report that we have one of my loans fully paid off; balance of zero! The others have gotten very low, and soon they will all be paid off, and we will be better candidates for the mission field. It is our deepest wish that the agency/supporters we go with will only need pay for necessities and for the direct work of Christ. We have no wish for them to be paying off our college loans. We are praying that the Spirit continues to provide for us through hard work and through any other means He wishes to provide. I personally have a renewed sense of hope of the loans coming to an end now that one is completely gone and all others are low. It didn’t feel like we were really getting anything accomplished with them until more recently. (Part of this, I must admit has to do with the fact that Isaiah handles all the finances. I have always had a strong dislike for money and the organization of it. I only like the giving it away and eating out part of the deal.)
We have had happy holidays full of rest from work (esp. for me) and busyness with loved ones. We had Christmas at the English House, at my grandmother’s, and at our home as well. We loved going to church on Christmas Day as well. What a wonderful thing to have Christmas on Sunday this year! My favorite part is the giving of presents and stuffing of stockings, and these things brought me much joy, especially since I had an extra helper this year in the form of our sister Tasha. Tasha is a friend and dear sister who has been living on an air mattress in our front room. Unfortunately, I am sure this is not the most comfortable arrangement for her, but it works for now. At least she has had the Christmas tree for a night light. :) It has not always been easy for she and us during the last few months, but it has been a blessing to have a sister in our home and to get watch her do quiet times with God and grow closer to Him. Any difficult things are cancelled out by the glory that Christ has gained by having time with his daughter Tasha, whom he loves so.
When I think about the coming of the new year, and the blessing I have to thank God for, there are a few things that come directly to mind. Rich Fork continues to be the most amazing church we could ask for. They have helped with Tasha, with my father and Colton, and have been so missions focused that when I think of it, it makes me weep with joy. Dad living in a place that is safe and has heat has been a blessing as well. I didn’t realize how often I worried over him in his old house until he finally moved into an apartment under us. I know he is safe now, and I know he has people near him who love him. Of course, I knew God was holding Him before as well, but having heat during a cold winter really does make a difference to an aging daddy and his loving daughter.
And most of all, I am grateful for God and his gifts of Jesus and the Spirit and for a husband who has only served to help me grow in the Lord. I have such a privilege in being the wife and helper of such a man of God. I cannot believe I used to worry over such trifles like submission, when being under the leadership of Isaiah is the greatest joy I have ever experienced in my life. When a leader lives under God, submission is truly a joy and blessing. I am honored by it. It is simple and easy. And beautiful.
Isaiah and I are also happy to report that we attended the CROSS Missions Conference sponsored by International Mission Board “IMB” (among others) this week. We are more certain than ever of doing missions in Japan. At this point, I believe it is safe to say that not going to Japan would be direct disobedience to God’s plans for us. I was more hurt than Isaiah after the TEAM agency turned us down last Spring. Isaiah is more used to rejection and waiting than I, and it really took this conference to get me back on a horse which could mean more hurt and rejection. I had been holding onto the reigns of the horse headed toward missions in Japan, but I had also been being dragged along behind that horse with a heart that was hurt and slightly disconnected from the initial urgency we’d felt. This conference was exactly what God intended for us.
At the conference, we stood when David Platt asked for those who were called and planned to “go” into missions. And we felt great jot when those who felt called to “send” from the States prayed over us and we for them. Isaiah and I have talked and thought about a great many options since TEAM’s decision last Spring. We have thought about MTW who the Sinks are linked up with, the family who has been our contact since early on in the call to Japan. We have thought about To Every Tribe, a missions training school Isaiah has loved since before we were married. And we have thought about my getting linked to a school in Japan to teach and that being our “in.” I even had an interview last Christmas with a school who has recently contacted me again. We have thought over these and received no direct answers from God. I have approached options often with timidity and slight apathy as they have grown in number and in uncertainty.
However, we have often thought about what the missions board at Rich Fork said when we spoke with them about the option of To Every Tribe, and our greater call to Japan. We were honest with them about our fervor for Japan but our uncertainty of how to get there. The board was very encouraging, and said that if we continued to pursue To Every Tribe, to let them know when things were “going” more. But they also mentioned IMB as a great option. Indeed, this is the agency supported by the Southern Baptist denomination (which RichFork is a part of), and every time the missionaries we already have over there Skype in or send the church a message, it is clear that this agency supports them well. In fact, it fully funds its missionaries so that they can spend all of their time on full-time church building and evangelism. With knowing that our church (whom we love even more after the conference!) supports and likes this agency, and our being under their leadership. And with knowing that David Platt, whom we heard at this conference, heads up this agency. And with the prayer than one of the IMB missionaries (a dear sister named Janna) prayed over us….we are thinking this may just be our next step.
I am not going to lie. A missions school, a teaching position, or an internship with MTW are all less scary options to me. I am afraid of applying with another large agency, of going through doctor’s appointments and paperwork and pych. evals all over again…just to perhaps be let down. I fear the rejection from something that has required more time and heart. I have never liked rejection. (I wept over the first and only job I was fired from and promptly moved to Georgia with my grandfather because I could not take even remaining in the town I was fired in!) But God is worth everything! He is worth every and any rejection. He is worthy of my life.
And so, we dive in again, ever into the deep. We do not fear that which is frightening, for Our Lord is on our side.
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