What God Has in the Cards for us "in the right now"

Sitting here drinking homemade hot chocolate with my wonderful husband and thinking about happenings of late. In our last post, I updated you guys on our heart for missions in Japan and continued progress in that respect. We're now hoping to go on a vision trip soon and perhaps visit our friends, the Sinks, in Nagoya, Japan. Please be praying about the details of that trip and the money we will need for it as it takes shape. We are both working full time jobs. Hence, most of the funding we can provide for ourselves. But, we may be sending out letters as well for any remaining funding needed. Prayer for the needed time off work would be helpful as well.  

We are also very content with how things turned out for our house guest. For the past three months, we'd had a lady living on an air mattress in our front room. God had a plan for her being here, but sharing a one bedroom apartment with only one bathroom entered through our bedroom, was certainly interesting. She is now in a safe place, and we are grateful to have our home and alone time back. Though, if you folks could pray for her as well, that would be wonderful. She's having a difficult time transitioning in her new environment and is having to learn some hard things. She will need her relationship with God and quiet time with Him more than ever. It is our greatest wish for God to become and remain her comfort and sustenance at all times. We will continue to be a part of her life but in a much lesser sense than we were;  she will continue attending Rich Fork with us on Sundays and being our friend and sister in the Lord. 

Colton (my brother) has been sitting next to me for the last few hours watching "Arthur Christmas," which is also a blessing. Due to a strain with my mother, I haven't been able to spend quality time with him in a while. My heart, which has been sad over this, is full again in the wake of his laughter and smiles. My relationship with mom is still strained, but I continue to rely on God and speak to her in the way wisdom leads me. I so wish that my family could be what it once was: a force in the Kingdom of Christ--united, attending church, and strong in the faith. But  that is simply not what God has in the cards for us at the moment. Since He is God, and I am not, I will trust His wisdom, goodness, and plan with my life and with theirs. I will cling all the more to my Savior. Not every family can be like Isaiah's, and if God sees fit to have mine be broken (for now or for forever) in order to bring Himself ultimate glory, I will trust Him still. He has always and will always know better than I, for I am the created. He is the Creator. I have already submitted this part of me (as well as every other part) unto Him. That has not changed and will not. Praise be to God! 

It is difficult at times because the problems with mom or at school seem so small compared to life lived for Christ in Japan. I am often tempted to discredit these seemingly temporal and lesser things in order to concentrate on what I think of as a greater calling. But we serve a God who calls us to be faithful in the great things--those large things in life--and in the small things (which turn out not to be small at all). Cleaning a home, emailing a loved one again when you feel like quitting, honoring students who do not honor you back in the least--these are things that make up a faithful follower and which help train a Daughter of the King, which aid in her in becoming like her Father God. Hence, I will pray and strive not to think these things lesser but to believe the truth that they are great in the Kingdom of Heaven. 

Isaiah's bread route has been crazy with the snow, and we still do not know what Monday will bring. My job has been hard as well, and I have thought of quitting more lately. The only things keeping me there right now are the thought that this semester is soon coming to a close (which will mean new students), the commitment I feel I have made, and the money coming in for paying off loans. There are huge parts of me that feel that since Isaiah now has the higher paying job, I could quit and simply do work with him. This is a very appealing prospect since his company is of more value to me than anyone else's (aside from the Lord's). There are also huge parts of me which question the worth of what I am doing; this is not sharing the gospel; it is teaching kids how to read literature they continue to dislike greatly. There are lastly, huge parts of me which feel this job takes too much time for what its benefits are (to both myself and the children). There is so much time required with teaching, and everyday I question more whether it's all worth it. It doesn't feel like it is...which is something that I would not have said a year ago. The good thing is that all of this shows I do not worship teaching or a job anymore in the least. Oh, how God has changed me! Praise Him! :) The bad things is, this makes the "right now" difficult. 

In an ideal world, I'd be working somewhere part time (somewhere where I could minister more and leave work at work) and helping my husband with his bread route. In an ideal world, I'd also be getting to have more time to do my Bible classes and read the Word. But right now is not ideal. I am simply not sure when and if that time will come. I have come to realize that waiting on the Lord is still a choice: a choice to remain doing what you are doing. This is a choice I am not 100% comfortable with, but one I remain in for the time, since I do not know what He has in store, nor do I know when He will tell me what my next steps are. I can only walk with Him and with Isaiah step by step, allowing myself to be directed by the one who has the plan. But that is more than enough, for God knows what is best for me and for the Kingdom. Who better to trust and rely on and walk with than the One who made all and knows all--the one whom I love most!?