Life @ the BWChapel

Hello there, lovelies!

Saturday marked our final "normal" Chapel program. It was super long because the Elwells had songs they wanted to sing and so did Sarah and Chris. Basically, we did all of the singing things that everyone wanted to do all summer but didn't get to in one, semi-cohesive program. We finished at 10:30pm.

In addition to a ton of music, Susie & Ben did some of their classic skits since Ben (as well as Chris) left today (Monday). The Ben & Susie duo also "passed the baton" in a pretty sweet way by teaching Joey and Desi (Junior staff members) the last Ben & Susie skit, "Parachute." Ben & Susie actually even came out at the end of the skit to welcome Joey & Desi to jump with them once they put their parachutes on. It was really sweet and very symbolic.

After the program, a group went to watch "Jaws" at Jay-Z's house while the scaredy-cats of the bunch (Teri, Isaiah, Caleb, and I) went back to the Dunn House to play games (namely, Scattegories) and drink hot chocolate with the Cummings kids and with Marin. It was a fun game, and Isaiah made some killer hot cocoa, but alas, after one game, I had to escape/hide from all the peoples. No matter how cute & small peoples are, sometimes you still have to run away. :)

So...Teri, Marin, Maria (the eldest Cummings kid/teen), and I ran away from the chaos and watched "Pride and Prejudice." We had an awesome time talking about the Q-Tip men (the servants wearing powdered wigs) and the awkward scene featuring Darcy's bust statue. Lesson we learned from the night: "Don't look at men's busts." Note: *If you don't understand, don't try. You'll end up feeling weird.*

Today, we had a Leader's Meeting to talk about the schedule for next year. Jay-Z brought bagels and smear & Elizabeth mad us a coffee cake. It was a delicious way to chat about things for next year. We said bye to Chris & Ben, and then Isaiah & I went to Mavis Diner and had lunch with Charlie & Elena (our house parents). It was awesome to spend some couple time together. And now, after talking with my mom and brother Mitch and keeping poor Isaiah awake, Teri, Isaiah & I are here at the Chapel, manning the Heaven & Hell machine for the afternoon.

This week, we do one skit tonight, one tomorrow, and two on Wednesday. Besides that, we basically let the singing group (I honestly don't remember who they are though I am sure they're lovely) and the singing couple (Renee & Romi) take over. Isaiah & I are hoping to get some good couple time in this week since things are even more chill, and I am, little by little, feeling healthy & normal. We will continue to do a bit of afternoon & night evangelism, but are also hoping to do more fun things with the free time we have (like finally going kayaking with Jay-Z's double-kayak, visiting Cape May again with the staff, and perhaps even figuring out a way to get in a vacation for Isaiah & I...we''re still figuring it out). I realize this sounds odd: needing a vacation after being at the beach all summer, but the truth is ministry as a couple is tiring, and after a whole summer of serving and living in community, we need actual alone time before heading home.

We are excited about the program tonight. I am especially looking forward to talking with Renee & Romi more, who we actually met last year when we (Isaiah & I) were only dating. We are also really pumped to have breakfast with our friend & church-buddy, Devin, tomorrow. He heads home pretty soon.

Be praying for our last days here, our conversations with Lena (and others), that we can be spending good time with the staff and other friends (like Devin and Akira), and that we get some needed Isaiah & Calli-jade time somehow at some place besides the Dunn House before we go home to my family.

Also be praying for transitions for those heading home to their regular lives, and for Isaiah & I when we return home: that God will give us stamina to complete TEAM Japan items and that God will provide us with ways of making money so that we can pay our phone & loan bills.

We love you all!

10 Things I've Learned from Marriage

1. Dependency is Awesome!

For a long time, I felt a lot of things were just "my job" and that Isaiah (my husband) shouldn't be bothered with them. For example, my parents are my parents, and if certain, incorrect ideas about marriage arose which came from them, Isaiah shouldn't have to deal with that. I should, I decided, pray through these things and get rid of them before they could bother Isaiah. Likewise, if something was "my problem," like believing I wasn't pretty that day or getting offended when I knew I shouldn't be, these things were mine to deal with; Isaiah shouldn't be effected by them. I felt I needed to protect him from the things I could, from the ugly parts of who I am that I can deal with alone. 

Want to know the problem with that? First off, it's God job to protect Isaiah; not mine. Also, he can take care of himself. There is some responsibility in his court to try not to receive hurt or damage from the things that damage and hurt me. Secondly, in marriage, there is no "my problems;" for that matter there is no "mine." (For those of you out there with separate bank accounts and secrets, I have no idea how you make it work.) The thing is: Biblical marriage truly is becoming "one flesh," getting into each other's messes and even making messes together. I can't and shouldn't hide hurt, pain, problems, etc. from Isaiah. It is incredibly delusional to think he could ever NOT be effected by these. It doesn't matter how much effort I put forth trying to keep him from having to deal with something, he will have to deal with it because he lives with me, because our hearts and heads and physical bodies are irrevocably connected--because we're married. We made vows at the front of a church. 

Those vows included dealing with each other's everything: the good, the bad, the ugly. 

I can no more hide my problems or issues from Isaiah than I can myself. Thirdly, it deprives my husband of something when I hide the parts of me, my past, or my issues from him. It deprives him of getting to help me, of being my husband and provider emotionally and spiritually. It deprives him of being my friend, my shoulder to cry on. It makes people feel wanted and loved when they're needed; God made it this way. I do need and want my husband's help; how silly to try not to want that and to make him feel that I don't need it. #Dumb. 

You know what else trying to deal with my own "shaz" alone deprives my husband of? Me. It deprives him of the woman he married. The Calli-jade as she is in the moment of need and struggle.

2. Living Life in the Grit is Better than Picture Perfect Time Together

In case you don't know anything about the Calli-Isaiah Saga pre-wedding, we didn't go on very many official "dates," but we knew when we committed to marriage that we'd have many dates to come. Since I was used to the secular "dating world," there have been plenty of times when Isaiah and I have started a date (whether it be to a Chinese Restaurant or to ice cream here on the Boardwalk of NJ) with me going in with a set of expectations I was unaware of having. For me, if we went on a date where we talked mostly about other people the whole time, where one of us didn't feel well or was tired, or where I said something that turned into a heated discussion, I felt the date was a failure, that our picture perfect time together had been broken. Often, I would cry. 

Isaiah explained to me that his favorite time together is just simply that: "time together." The truth is, two people cannot live life together without bad days and bad experiences. It's often even these things that bond us together. And, when you think about probability, every married couple has got to have a lot of good, bad, and "meh" dates and time together in the course of a lifetime. Isaiah has taught me that sometimes the best memories come from not awesome dates or times, like being sick together in bed and binge watching "Castle."

3. Reading God's Word is Essential 

This is a simple on, folks. When you're not focused on God, you focus on yourself or your partner. This becomes a problem in marriage because focusing on yourself leads to selfishness, over critique of the self, pride, and depression. Focusing on your partner rather than God leads to too many expectations and idolatry. 

When Isaiah and I aren't in God's word together every day, we argue a lot more. It's just a fact we've come to learn. When we start fighting about stupid stuff, it's not time to try harder in our horizontal relationship. Rather, it's time to hit our knees and focus on something bigger than ourselves. Reading God's Word helps us remember that we're not the center of the universe and neither is our partner; it also helps us remember who we are in Christ, which means we stop expecting encouragement from each other to define who we are. When God fulfills us, it takes the pressure off. I know I'm worthy. Isaiah knows he's worthy. We don't expect each other to show the other we're worthy, and we don't have to prove our worth either.

4. Critique is Not the Same as Judgement 

I have had insecurities about ignorance for a long time. When we first got married, not knowing something, to me, meant the same as being stupid. Though ignorance is in no way the same as idiocy, since in my brain they were the same, when Isaiah would tell me how to do something better or that something was wrong, I would figure he thought me dumb. I would either defend myself, tell him to just let me do it my way, or close up. I would feel judged or deemed dumb when all Isaiah was trying to do was help me do something more efficiently or better. And since he is much better at efficiency and at thinking logically, this happened a lot.

I have learned that (1) Ignorance is NOT shameful; it's just, as James Irwin used to say, "the place for new learning to go." That is the first truth which helped me start to take Isaiah's help as just that. The second thing that helps is knowing that critique doesn't mean bad judgment at all. Isaiah doesn't tell me how to do something better because he knows I'm incapable or am dumb. He tells me how to do something better for just the opposite reason: he knows I am capable of doing it better. If he thought I couldn't do it or was stupid, he wouldn't try to help me in the first place. He'd just do it for me. I've also learned that (3) My identity is not in what I "do." Isaiah doesn't love me for the fact that I heat butter in the pan before putting eggs in. He loves me because he loves me (just like God...not that my husband is God...that would be idolatry and also just not true). Since Isaiah's love for me is not based in the "product" of my labors, who cares if I'm not doing something as good as I could? I just learn how to do it better and then do so, rather than taking something as dumb as cooking eggs as as insult to my being. 

I have started taking critique as encouragement rather than judgement of identity. It's been a long time coming, but I finally get why and how people telling you you're wrong can actually be encouraging--when they believe you capable, love you as you are but still know you can "do" something better, and then tell you how to do it better--that's encouraging. 

5. It is not my Husband's Job to Remind me of Truth

Isaiah reminds me of truth a lot. He reminds me that I'm beautiful, worthy, of what I add to our relationship, or what I add to his family, of what about me he's still drawn to, of how God loves me even when I struggle--you name it. However, just because he tells me truth a lot, doesn't mean it's his job to do so. 

I read in an article a while ago that if "your man ain't making' you feel pretty, it's time to ditch him!" Though I understand the heart behind this article, this is simply a false statement. There are plenty of times when I FEEL ugly and gross when I'm knee deep in tissues and snot, and there is nothing Isaiah can do to make me FEEL prettier. You know what can help me feel prettier? God. Isaiah can tell me I'm beautiful until he's blue in the face, and until I believe it for myself, his compliments won't sink in. God is the only one who can change emotions with truth, for His truth goes from head to heart and heart to head. 

Instead of treating Isaiah like it's his job to make me feel beautiful or worthy or anything for that matter, I go to God, and His Word and Spirit remind me that I'm a daughter of the King Most High! I do the same thing married that I did as a single--(1) Go to God. (2) Ask for Help Believing God's Truth for Myself. 

Just because you get married, doesn't mean you stop asking God for help. 

Your husband cannot and should not be your ultimate source of truth. Your husband should serve as a picture of God in your life; a picture that points you to the real deal: Christ.

When I start treating Isaiah like the real deal, he gets pressure to produce just the right thing to say and I--I remain in the darkness of falsehood because there is only so much a mere human can do or say. God has the job of defining us for a reason. We should get our identity from nowhere else. And that is truth that doesn't change with marriage. 

Him putting a ring on it does not mean it's his job to define you. And that's not simply a feministic truth. It's a truth for everyone who thinks that by getting married you are given ultimate confidence and truth and validation. Your partner can't give you what God does because your partner IS NOT GOD. Asking him to be so is cruel and unfair. If you expect him to be your ultimate source of truth and validation, he will die trying and never reaching the mark or being able to please you. And you will die unsatisfied and bitter that he couldn't do "such a simple thing" as be God for you. Yeah, I said it. Deal. Or better yet, pray. 

6. Closure is Not Everything

I am a closure freak. As the daughter of a woman who had a "talking stick" for family discussions and watched just about every Gary Smalley seminar on communication out there, getting to a place of resolution is very important to me. This is a good thing, and it has honestly helped our marriage. Leaving tons of strings untied at the end of an argument is like leaving seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness in your partner's heart and saying "It' all good; just uproot them with no help." 

With that said, closure is not everything. I may have helped Isaiah learn to end things positively and with hope. But Isaiah has taught me that not everything can be tied up at the end of one discussion. Some things take years to be fully "talked out," and some never will be this side of glory. 

Just because you can't reach ultimate solution doesn't mean you don't love each other. 

It's okay to talk through particularly hard things in phases; to not solve everything at the end of the day. 

The trick is to give hope and love at the end of a talk; to make sure that, ultimately, you know you love each other--that no matter what, you are on each other's side. If this truth is believed and the strings that connect to it are tied tight, you can leave just about anything else that can't be processed for later. 

So closure, I've learned, is not the ultimate. The knowledge of your mutual love for God and your love for each other are the ultimate.  Want to know another great ultimate that serves as closure? The knowledge that the promise you made each other cannot be severed. In other words, the knowledge that if you can't "solve" everything now, you have a lifetime to do it, and there is no escape for either of you. Muhaha! No, but for real, this is actually comforting. Promise. 

7. The Solution to a Lack of Communication is Waiting not Asking

I married a quiet man. Yes, he can get loud and passionate in discussions about Theology and Philosophy and even how to correctly cook eggs (He's an English). But, in general, he's quiet and often not naturally communicative. He often goes off without telling me and doesn't answer me when I ask him a question. Is this hard? Yes. Does it help that my dad is the same way? Yes. Do I have more patience about it than I first did? Definitely. 

You see, at first, I thought that asking was most helpful, you know, taking the initiative that he didn't. I started saying things like: "Honey, did you hear me when I asked [such and such]?" or "What are you doing right now, and can I help?" or "Babe, could you please tell me where you're going when you just leave?" But here's the rub. This does not help. At least not often. At least not for us. 

All these kinds of questions do is (1) Make me irritated that I'm the one taking initiative when I feel like he should communicate. (2) Make Isaiah irritated that I'm asking him questions when all he's often doing is going to the bathroom, or going off to do something nice (like going to get the car) (3) Make Isaiah feel like he's not allowed to be tired or out-of-it (because he often gets quieter or more silent during these times especially). 

Here's what I now do instead, or at least what I try to do. I wait. 

Yes. It's that simple. Sort of. There are 3 basic steps that happen in my brain. (a) I Trust. (b) I Occupy Myself. (3) I Wait. 

I trust that Isaiah is either doing something sweet or necessary, or I assume that he must be tired. I have faith that my husband loves me and leaves me when he's doing something important or for our sake. I have faith that my husband wants to communicate with me and only doesn't do so because he's tired or doesn't see it as particularly important right then. 

After I decide to trust my husband's love for me, I do something while I wait. I talk to a stranger, check Facebook, read the Word (at least this is what I should do), etc. 

Once I have trusted that my husband is doing something important and for our good and occupy myself, waiting becomes easy. Of course I can wait when I have something to do in the now and when I believe my husband is doing something good for me or for both us later.

P.S. Sometimes that doing something good for us is even as simple as not responding due to exhaustion because he is aware of his exhaustion and the fact that responding when he's that tired is just not a good idea.

8. Sometimes I'm a Poop. It's Important to Admit It. 

I used to think I was fairly easy to deal and live with. I now feel so appreciative and sorry for my mother. Marriage helps you see your sin and selfishness for what it is. Honestly, it's a great sanctification tool. 

When you live alone, you become used to yourself and don't often externally blurt out offensive things to the mirror. When you live with a man who is different than you, you find yourself saying offensive and hurtful things that come straight out of your wicked heart on a fairly regular basis. The wicked heart, which you've always had but that was much easier to hide when you only made breakfast for yourself, rears it's ugly head. "What's so great about that," you ask, "Sounds awful!" Well, when you externalize your sin, you can more easily find its root and start chopping the heads off of that hydra which just vomited meanness onto your husband.

When things like this happen, when sin inevitably is brought to light, the most important thing to do is apologize. 

Just say you're sorry for sinning against the one you love. Admit that you are a poop and thank your husband for helping clean up your ****. 

9. There's a Difference Between "He Doesn't Love Me" and "He's Not Initiating" 

I have struggled a bit with expecting Isaiah to keep making the first move even within our marriage. What I mean is that sometimes I have found myself thinking, "Why didn't he hold my hand when I've been right here the whole time," "Is there a reason he's not walking next to me," "Does he even think I'm pretty. I just got undressed, and he made no expression." 

Here's the thing: These questions are DUMB. Natural perhaps, but dumb. 

Just like I can't be expected to constantly want to touch Isaiah, be with Isaiah, love on Isaiah, do everything with Isaiah, he can't be expected to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, and ALWAYS initiate affection, time, and love for me.

Just because he's not showing me he loves me all the time in the way that I want right then, doesn't mean he doesn't love me. It might mean that I'm a bratty poop. But it doesn't mean my husband doesn't love me. 

I can't always show him love the right way either. How ridiculous to expect him, just because he is the man, to always initiate love for me when I cannot do the same. 

If I want to hold his hand, instead of getting upset that he isn't holding my hand like I want him to, I can be sensible and offer it to him. 

If I want him to walk next to me, I can speed up and start walking alongside him rather than spend our beach time thinking: "Does he not love me anymore? He's not next to me." 

It's important, especially as women, to sometimes get out of our own heads and just do the thing we want our husband's to do. And also to stop expecting them to do something or be something that we ourselves, as human beings, can't do either.

10. It's Okay to Say "I Don't Know" 

I like reasons. I like closure. I like resolution. I like explanation. Always have. 

These things are great. Sometimes, however, these things can be an idol of control. 

I like knowing what the heart problems within an argument were. I like knowing why Isaiah said a certain thing or why I responded a certain way. I like knowing what we can do better in the future. 

But sometimes, the answers just aren't there. Isaiah said something he didn't mean because he just said something he didn't mean. I just responded the way I did because there was sin? or because I have a root issue that, at the moment, I can't find. We don't know how we can do better in the future because neither or us knows what went wrong or what we did that can be done any better. 

There's not always closure. There aren't always reasons or even good explanations. 

Sometimes you just have to let an argument or comment or hurtful experience die. 

You have to bury it with no funeral speech or cause of death. 

And leave it behind. 

Closure: LOL

I am an imperfect woman. I am still working on all of these things and partly wrote this as an encouragement to myself. Please know that I have not arrived and never will. Thank God I have a patient husband and a patient God. I hope that my humility and sin and honesty in some way can help those out there in the universe of the internet. Blessings! 

Love, 

A Wife and Mutual Struggler and Learner! :)

Reaching the End. #BitterSweet.

So...we are doing well here at the Chapel. After being sick for two days (Friday and Saturday), it was awesome to get back to work on Monday. The most amazing feat of the summer, by the way, happened Saturday night when we had one of the biggest crowds yet and a working staff that consisted of: Isaiah, Chris Byrd, Teri, Katrina, and Ben: 5 people doing sound, MCing, acting, singing, manning the back, you name it! Susie and Sarah were on vacation, the Zozzaros were on vacation, I was sick in bed, and everybody else had gone home. (Ginni visited earlier in the week but was gone, and Mikaela peaced out mid-week.) I was incredibly proud of my husband who, when he returned home to his sick wife, told her of how stressful it all was, mentioning that once he introduced a skit (he was MCing), ran a mic to someone (he was stage crewing), and got backstage to change for his part (he was also acting!) only to have the lights come on signaling the start of the skit right when he got backstage. Everyone's night went very similarly to this.

Anyway, getting back on Monday was great. Teri's family came to visit and got to see the skit that she wrote: "Tarmac". It was really cool to see Isaiah, Katrina, and Ben in a skit; a very different acting crew than before. We are planning on putting "Worldview Airport" up once more this week with Sarah stepping into Mikaela's part and also a new rendition of "Crossed Lines" now called "Metro." Sarah will get to play an over-the-top Broadway singer, perfectly fitting! And we are hoping to get another recording from our good friend Mark for the PA Announcements (his voice is already recorded for Worldview Airport; he will now forever live in infamy at the Boardwalk Chapel!). Besides that, we're doing skits that we already have like "Parachute," "What Do You Need," and the Junior Staff (the kids') skits. We wish to challenge but not kill ourselves these next weeks.

I did enjoy acting (something I hadn't done this summer thus far) in some skits with Teri once Susie left last week. I got to be a rich, gangster's wife in "The Bill" (Alexandra's old part) and a "Fig Tree". But I must say, though I love acting almost as much as I used to, I much prefer directing and writing now. I had forgotten how nerve-racking trying to do all things well on stage can be. I also am such a mom and teacher; I just enjoy watching my babies (who are actually in college) do their "thang!"

Ben & I finished clearing and cleaning out the prop room yesterday after practice, leaving only what we need out for the summer and organizing all the rest, storing it for next summer. It was a little dusty and depressing, thinking about how it's all almost over. I also worked on a Youth Group packet for next year and revised the Description of the Drama Coordinator position (which Ben & I have both fulfilled this summer). These will still need to be reviewed and revised, but I'm happy to be getting things done here. I am feeling accomplished, like things are coming to good closure. I am always pleased leaving things neat & tidy when I depart. Whether or not I'll come back to the position, I know that whoever steps in will have a better idea of what's up here at the Chapel for Drama Coordinators.

I do hope that I will be here next year. I've loved it and have learned so very much. I feel very much like I did at the end of my first year of teaching: like there are so many things I know now and could implement, like I am proud of what I've done but know the next year could and will be so much greater with God's help! I don't think Isaiah & I will be in Japan my then. Our new date to finish and attend training is Feb. rather than Oct. and after that we've got a lot of fund raising to do! I mean, God could and might work a miracle and get us over by then, but I doubt that we'll be in the "Land of the Rising Sun" by next summer. I am feeling more & more that we'll have one more summer here. It just seems fitting right now.

Back to the Present: The Elwells (a family that's been here for years; the dad has a spot on the board) are here for this week at the Boardwalk Chapel, and we are loving it. They're used to running the show alone (most summer, all staffers are gone by this point), so having a group that can give us rest and relaxation via their awesomeness is great! Isaiah and I are excited to perhaps visit Lena, our Muslim friend, tonight for the first time in a while. She told Teri she missed me, which feels my heart with a lot of joy!

Chris, Isaiah, & I are wanting to do a picnic at the Zoo on Thursday (day off) and are hoping that the staff comes. These next few weeks may be our only time to really bond and hang before it's all over. Wait! That's not true. We are eternity! Legit. But seriously....We still just all want & need more chill & hang time for our bodies as well as our souls, which will all soon be thrown into transition from Chapel to Real Life (so to speak).

I have loved and continue to love everything about being here. Thank God for this opportunity!

1 Week of Regular Programs (this week). 1 Week of Almost Regular Programs with More Help. Labor Day Weekend with the Slacks here. 1 Week of Rest and Activities and Packing before heading home to N.C. Pray for us! Love you all.

Affectionately,

-The Englishes!

P.S. Other Updates: The Cummings are now living in the Dunn House, which means little kids! Yay! But seriously, I am loving it. And where is that Alexandra when you know she should be here? ;)

P.P.S Pray I get my singing voice & hearing back, so Isaiah & I can sing a couple song before we depart this FairyLand of Awesomeness!

"Best Ofs" at the Boardwalk...

So, my wonderful blog viewers, we Englishes have been off the blog and interwebs map for a while now. For this, I apologize. The only excuse I can give is that the Boardwalk Chapel is time consuming. Though time here has been rewarding and incredible beyond imagination, free time that is not consumed by rest and food (necessities) is hard to come by. Looking back, I probably should have been more like my friend Tim and updated facebook statuses daily rather than attempting to fill up a blog every other day. Looking forward, this beautiful black hole we call ministry/missions takes a lot of time, and I am growing less sure of my updating abilities once we get to Japan. Let us pray that I can figure out how to do this better! :)

Though the summer is nearly over (We have three official weeks left, and one week after that of only evangelism), and I am sure I can once again post more regularly about more current items, I'd like to share a few of my favorite lessons/times at the Boardwalk since we last posted. Consider this my personal reel of "Best Ofs" this summer.

1. Ministry to Muslims: We have met a lot of Muslims this summer, mostly from Alexandria. A lot of them came for the summer to work on the Boardwalk at various shops lining the coast. We have immensely enjoyed evangelizing to them and forming friendships with them. All of those on staff pretty much had our own favorite Muslim friend that we individually talked to and prayed for most. I had my "Abdul" who works in the t-shirt shop two stores over, though Chris Byrd and Isaiah talked to him quite a bit as well. Isaiah had his "Abdul" who works in the paid parking. And Jed fervently wanted to do a bible study with the one who has his heart most: Omar. I realize this sounds a bit odd; however, choosing close friends of different religions and individually pleading before the Throne on their behalf is incredibly powerful. Us all having our "favorites" helped us plead with true hearts and passionate Spirits. We also had a prayer meeting for the Muslims specifically a few weeks ago which staff, youth group members, and Christians from surrounding shops attended. To start off, we watched a youtube clip of Nabeel Qureshi, a devout Muslim who converted to Christianity and now follows Matthew 28:19-20 fervently. After watching this, we broke into heart-felt prayer for friends and strangers we had met over the summer who believe in Allah rather than in the true Triune God of Truth. A few also fasted for the Muslims on the Boardwalk the following day. Prayer Note: Isaiah and I are currently talking to a new favorite friend who is actually incredibly excited abut the gospel of Jesus; she had never heard it before. She was pumped to receive an Arabic bible from us last night, and we plan on going back to her shop and reading it with her.

In summation, encountering more Muslims, sharing our hearts with them and with God in reference to them, and learning more about Islam in general this summer has been a blessing!

2. Danny Dieckmann's Youth Group: Though there are many youth groups that I enjoyed this summer, Danny's youth group (which included many of his siblings) was part of the highlight of my summer. Due to the rapport they already had with the chapel, the tight-knit nature of their relationships with each other, their good planning, and their outgoing and out-of-box personalities, they brought my heart much joy! We not only had a great week working on Drama, which was awesome because they are all naturally talented actors and actresses. We also went to the water park here (Splash Zone) along with Nate, Alexandra, and the Dieckmann youth group. It was a blast! From the big bucket that gave us all back pain (lol) to the awesome four seater water slide that we rode with Nate multiple times, it was a great Thursday morning! In addition, they all took us out for breakfast at Key West Cafe before they left. Just in general they made me feel like a part of their youth group family from the start, and this was awesome! It was nice to have a break from feeling like I needed to make youth groups closer via my openness and just have a group envelop me with love and closeness from the start.

3. Conversations with brother Ninja Tim or TIM-O-TEE: Tim conversations this year have been invaluable to me spiritually. Not only did our friend Tim love all of the Asian foods and chopsticks that we eat/use/obsess about (Nate was also part of this group of Asian lovers), he also made very good conversation. I was able to open up to him easily and because he is a logical philosopher but also speaks in analogy and picture, hearing his thoughts about things was awesome because I actually understood him and well! It was so cool being fed the logic that I needed wrapped in pictures that I could swallow easily. Tim was incredibly important to my understanding the doctrines of hell, the wrath of God, and the justice of God this summer. Paul English, Isaiah's dad, started me on the journey before I got here, Jay-Z (our leader) helped quite a bit, and them Tim happened and everything clicked. I no longer have a hard time with God's justice. In fact, I celebrate it and speak with a lot more boldness, partially do to my friend Tim who can speak of magic and doctrine in one sentence. My kind of communication! It's like Disney with Depth!

4. Getting to Minister as a Married Couple About relationships: Another one of my favorite parts of the summer was getting to have input in people's love lives, relationships, and prayers pertaining to romance and marriage along with my husband. I cannot express to you how cool it is to speak alongside the one God meant for me about these things! And the awesome part is: Isaiah and I fill in each other's thoughts so well. No, we don't finish each other's sentences. That is not what I'm saying. What I mean is we tend to speak to people's hearts about opposite sides of an issue; thus, leaving them with the full/whole picture. I enjoyed speaking to others about romance and Jesus so much this summer! What a privilege to be married to one who can round out what I say. What a privilege to be with one who loves my communication too. What a privilege to get to be in someone else's head and heart and life to such an extent that we truly do start to become one flesh not only to each other but in conversation with others!

5. Talking to Folks About Struggle and Pain: I used to wonder why I struggled so much with pain and kept asking God to take it away, but this summer alone made it all worth it! I learned that I LOVE evangelizing, but am especially good at it when I stay at the Heaven & Hell machine here since the questions give me logic to follow which I can then infuse with analogy, passion, and relatable material. It seemed that every time I worked the machine, folks with a ton of struggle would come up to talk. God was drawing people to me who he knew I could help due to my past and his Holy Spirit. I loved speaking with people about suicide, being gay, being hated by God or their parents, being raped, and death of loved ones. I did not love speaking about these things because I am a sadist who wishes everyone pain. I loved talking with folks about these thins because thanks to growth this summer I was able to communicate justice and mercy rightly and point folks to the true validation for their pain: the cross of Jesus Christ! I loved grieving with people but also offering them a solution and a God, the only God for that matter, who validates pain and suffering and struggle and who experienced it Himself! Praise be to God!

Well, that's all for now folks. Talk to you soon!